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Post by vecseysbeard on Jun 27, 2012 1:45:34 GMT -5
Damn.
I clicked this thread thinking bobharris went and saw something.
Haven't been this disappointed since they put peanut butter and jelly in the same jar.
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Post by bwwyyyy on Jun 27, 2012 8:36:49 GMT -5
Justin Bieber is going to make a great Peter Parker for the next Spiderman reboot in 2020. But it all makes plenty of sense without even looking at the issue of retaining movie rights, I think. Every comic comes with a nice built-in audience, and if you make the movie halfway decent (<--on second thought, not actually a requirement...often not even an apparent preference) it's sure to appeal to Manlyman Actionmoviewatcher Persons as well. And if MAP's on board, you get lots of bonus dollars from MAP's counterpart, his horrible wife Girlygirl Sentimentalmushbrain Person who's either going along with MAP to see these movies, then making MAP go with her to some chickflick rubbish as payback, or she's allowing MAP to go off on some homoerotic boysnightout adventure with his MAP friends to see the movie by themselves, which of course frees up GSP to do the same with other GSPs and for them to mani-pedi the shit out of themselves before going to see the next must-see chickflick rubbish; either way it's $ + $$ + $$$.
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Post by vecseysbeard on Jun 27, 2012 9:09:18 GMT -5
Hey look, ^ is Bill Simmons. All that is missing is a pyramid of stupid movie watchers
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Post by bwwyyyy on Jun 27, 2012 9:13:58 GMT -5
Gnashing.
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Post by e0 on Jun 27, 2012 23:54:26 GMT -5
Easy Bill
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Post by e0 on Jul 8, 2012 18:46:40 GMT -5
How was Magic Mike bob?!
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Post by vecseysbeard on Jul 9, 2012 11:11:15 GMT -5
Moonrise Kingdom: Wes Anderson at his most Wes Andersony.
The temptation is to say you will either love it or hate it, as is the case with most Wes Anderson movies. I know I heard people express "WTF" or "that was brilliant" on the way out the theater.
I think there is a third way: it was fantastic but could have been a whole lot better. Too much time spent on the kids in the middle of the movie. I wanted more development around Ed Norton, Bruce Willis, Bill Murray and Fargo chick. The ostrich that portrayed Tilda Swinton was also perfect.
I'm not sure what bobharris' grading scale is but this was better than Prometheus
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Post by bwwyyyy on Jul 9, 2012 11:21:26 GMT -5
How does it compare to the outstanding Royal Tenenbaums, the very good Rushmore, and the horrid Life Aquatic?
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Post by vecseysbeard on Jul 9, 2012 14:55:53 GMT -5
Rushmore level
Keep in mind this a PG-13 movie so there are certain restrictions. Moonrise was 'campy"...on purpose.
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Post by e0 on Jul 9, 2012 16:08:02 GMT -5
Like you?
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Post by bobharris on Jul 12, 2012 21:58:39 GMT -5
NFG: Heh = good Meh = average Feh = bad Pretty simple, add in some pluses( or plusses- both are acceptable) and minuses and you're all set.
e0y: not yet, thinking about asking my Dad to go see it.
All:
Ted: Meh
Got dragged to this one. My buddy's all "Dude! Mila Kunis!" Now hey, Kunis is easily the hottest Ukrainian chick that I know, but I'm not a person who will go see a movie simply due to an actor/actress. Plus, Family Guy has sucked for a good while, probably since the first cancellation. Actually MacFarlane ( not Todd- easy, J.R.) annoys me more than anything.
The Good: If you're a Gen X'er, possibly even Gen Y, there are several references for you. They were completely unintelligible to the high school crowd. That I liked. There is a cameo of an actor that I never thought would see the silver screen again. Kunis is hot, Wahlberg is funny, and not a bad supporting cast either.
The Bad: Everything else. All of the other stupid, obvious jokes that you're expecting. Like Family Guy, they throw a lot of shit at the wall and only some of it sticks.
Spiderman:Meh+
Was this necessary? Of course not! Is it terrible? Not entirely! Actually was somewhat surprised with this.
The Good: It certainly sets a different tone from the first series, it's kinda moody, in a good way. A bit more grounded in its best parts. Garfield and Stone have some real chemistry, evidenced by the fact that the internet says they're banging now.
The Bad: The lizard. J. R. was right. It's even worse when he talks. So bad. Garfield's hair can be troubling and he sometimes seems to overdo the shyness thing. Also troubling are Martin Sheen's dentures or veneers or whatever. They bother me.
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Post by e0 on Jul 13, 2012 0:48:52 GMT -5
NOT LISTENING TO THIS THREAD UNTIL I GET A MAGIC MIKE REVIEW
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Post by e0 on Jul 13, 2012 1:14:10 GMT -5
That Mila Kunis though.....
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Post by bwwyyyy on Jul 13, 2012 8:19:42 GMT -5
I miss the days when men were men and movies were graded by number of footballs.
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Post by vecseysbeard on Jul 18, 2012 12:18:34 GMT -5
Prediction: The Dark Knight Rises
Flat, boring and weak characters. So basically Inception.
And 2:45 run time is a bit pretentious.
Go away Nolan, you had your time now join M. Night Shababaloboo in the green room.
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Post by vecseysbeard on Jul 18, 2012 13:00:09 GMT -5
RE: Spiderman
Additional thoughts to bobharris' accurate account:
Most troubling thing: couldn't tell who looked more old dyke-ish: Sheen or Field Another troubling thing: Denis Leary wasn't the Rescue Me Denis Leary and he should have been.
The Lizard was a horrible decision...which just shows how stupid comic book movies can be. The less human qualities your villain/hero have, the more lame it gets.
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Post by Bot on Jul 18, 2012 14:37:31 GMT -5
Prediction: The Dark Knight Rises Flat, boring and weak characters. So basically Inception. And 2:45 run time is a bit pretentious. Go away Nolan, you had your time now join M. Night Shababaloboo in the green room. ... Fucking blasphemy. Stay in California with your liberal, hippie, mexican friends, nfg. You are no longer welcome in these parts.
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Post by bwwyyyy on Jul 18, 2012 15:51:28 GMT -5
^BANNED from rotten tomatoes.
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Post by e0 on Jul 20, 2012 20:01:10 GMT -5
So my gym is above the big theater downtown here and I figured I'd go catch an earlyish showing to Batman III (I worked a half day). Got there at 4 and every single showing for the rest of the day was sold out, there was a news crew posted outside and cops were everywhere.
Aside from the Denver weirdness I am truly scared of BATMAN fans at this point. I was unemployed and bored when the last one so I saw it during the midnight premier and felt like I was at a nerdrave. Never again.
Cops plus fanbois = weird as hell night at the theater.
Since I was hell bench on watching a Superhero movie and sad I couldn't laugh at the mediocrity of Batman III I went with Spiderman, assuming I would get to laugh a lot, but all of the posts here are dead on. Actually a really enjoyable mindless movie with just the right amount of Emma Stone.
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Post by vecseysbeard on Jul 20, 2012 21:06:46 GMT -5
Of the movies I have seen this summer, here's how I rank 'em:
Moonrise Kingdom: Meh + Prometheus: Meh Spiderman: Meh TDKR: Meh - / Feh +
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Post by vecseysbeard on Jul 20, 2012 21:08:23 GMT -5
I have a heavy bobharris breakdown of all that went wrong with TDKR but I will wait
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Post by bobharris on Jul 20, 2012 22:42:54 GMT -5
Batman Part 3: Meh +
Kind of torn here again with Heh-/Meh+, just like Prometheus. Should the ambitious, overreaching, misfire get points for trying to accomplish something special? Or lose them for not doing so?
Or maybe my rating scale sucks? "Heh-" feels like an "A-" and "Meh+" feels like a "C+," and this was "B" material.
Preface: Batman was my favorite hero growing up. So there's that. And then I really liked the first two of this series. So there's that on top, then. Does that mean that I am biased in liking the movie more than I should? Or is it that I have higher expectations and I'm too critical? Fuck it, who cares.
Nolan tried to top himself here, tried really hard to top The Dark Knight. But he just can't do it without making everything a bit too ridiculous for the "world" that he's built in the first two films.
The Good: I liked Tom Hardy as Bane. Yeah, he's hard to understand and speaks in Zen-riddle BS half the time, but Hardy was successful at pulling off physicality of the role. Remember when I said in Warrior he looked like the last dude on Earth you'd want to fuck with? Same here, like cubed.
Funny, I had just read that Hardy's only like 5'10" or so, they do a good job of hiding that. Kinda like Brando's fat ass in Apocalypse Now. I also have always thought Hathaway was hot and a good actress, and I still do after this movie. The interactions between Alfred and Bruce were interesting, adding some much-needed depth. Freeman and Oldman perform admirably, of course. The score is intense. And yes, I liked the ending. It's pretty much what you're expecting and that's OK sometimes. If it was all super-plot-twisty, it would have been irritating.
The Bad: I saw the word "unwieldy" show up in a review that I read this afternoon. Great word. That pretty much sums up the big problem here. Not just that it's too long. Although it is. It's weird, I felt like I didn't get enough of all of those things there under "The Good," and yet it still felt way too long. Less than the sum of its parts, somehow. How do you even do that?
Then the suspension of disbelief stuff. I liked Batman as a kid because he's just a dude, and in Nolan's movies it always felt more real than your typical superhero fare. Sure Batman had some tech that's way too advanced, and some improbable shit happened sometimes, but nobody was ever flying or using magic or whateveer. But in this, there's a prolonged situation that pushes it too far.
SPOILER Also having to do with that (^) is that Nolan decided not to even mention the Joker in this film in order to honor Ledger. And I can understand that. However, it takes away from this one. The Joker was presumably in jail and would figure heavily into what happens in this. They even address villains from the first film as well as Harvey Dent. Maybe it's just me that cares about this stuff. But how 'bout, "Good thing we moved the Joker to that out-of-state mental hospital before all of this shit went down, huh?" Y'know, like just one line of dialogue.
Final thoughts: Anywho, so yeah. It's basically Return of the Jedi. There's Ewoks and yet another Death Star with an exploitable weakness, but there is still some good stuff here. It just doesn't quite measure up to the first two.
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Post by bobharris on Jul 20, 2012 23:50:13 GMT -5
Of the movies I have seen this summer, here's how I rank 'em: Moonrise Kingdom: Meh + Prometheus: Meh Spiderman: Meh TDKR: Meh - / Feh + I saw this in the five minutes before you added /Feh+ to Batman:Part the Third. Just saying.
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Post by e0 on Jul 21, 2012 4:42:13 GMT -5
Odd note: my ex was Anne Hathaway's best friend growing up. Called her out for BS and got a text back in ten minutes. Apparently she was kinda shy and a geeky choir girl.
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Post by e0 on Jul 21, 2012 4:45:05 GMT -5
Oh and for fuck's sake Batman II was not that great. It was well done and fun, but that was the very definition of meh on the meh to feh rating scale. I tried to rewatch it twice and turned it off out of boredom (I can say the same for amazing movies like Inglorious, but I left the theater after that just blown away and I suspect as I age I'll really want to see it again).
PS: Fuck Return of the Jedi with a rusty sword.
PPS: If Magic Mike had started five minutes later I would have went and got my own damn review. Screw you bobis.
PPS: And I would have went to Moonrise if it started ten minutes later. Fucking Batman III had like 55 screens so movie times were all whacked out. That said, I did get to see the new Shia Labouf being a badass trailer, which amused me for twenty minutes.
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Post by e0 on Jul 21, 2012 4:50:20 GMT -5
Another troubling thing: Denis Leary wasn't the Rescue Me Denis Leary and he should have been. As someone that watched all of Rescue Me after that amazing first season due to dedication and not watching any other TV during the summer, the world does not need "Tommy" from Leary ever again. If he had pulled that character back from the dead I may have left the theater. Man that show ended up sucking. My biggest: "I watched the entire series for no good reason" show ever. Fuck that character.
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Post by vecseysbeard on Jul 21, 2012 9:18:57 GMT -5
Another troubling thing: Denis Leary wasn't the Rescue Me Denis Leary and he should have been. As someone that watched all of Rescue Me after that amazing first season due to dedication and not watching any other TV during the summer, the world does not need "Tommy" from Leary ever again. If he had pulled that character back from the dead I may have left the theater. Man that show ended up sucking. My biggest: "I watched the entire series for no good reason" show ever. Fuck that character. I guess I only ever saw the first season. Anyway, when Leary walked in on Stone and Garfield, 'Tommy' would have thrown Garfield out the window...that's all.
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Post by vecseysbeard on Jul 21, 2012 10:08:32 GMT -5
Batman Part 3: Meh - / Feh + (depending on how pissed I am)
The Good: Tom Hardy did as much as you could with that role. I see he borrowed his shoulders from Warrior. That was a nice touch.
Anne Hathaway was clearly excited to be there...can't really say that about anyone else. When she is one of the best parts of the movie, you can expect The Bad section to be a whole lot bigger.
I think the Pittsburgh Steelers all died.
The Bad: Bob says "unwieldy", I say "boring as hell and clunky." And I mean that. Not trying to be contrarian. The movie had terrible pacing and was just choppy as all get out and not the good, intentional kind of choppy. It was near Michael Bay choppy. Bane's mask perfectly symbolizes Nolan's story telling. Just awful but no one will want to admit that because everyone loves Batman and/or were so moved by TDK that they already loved TDKR before seeing it (see RT closed comments). This was the worst of the three, easy. I'm no movie snob (ok maybe a little) but when you have to use long monologues from bit characters to explain and further the story then your movie sucks. Poor Michael Cain got stuck with a whole lot of forced shit.
The music was awful, bob. Awful. I wanted James Horner to die. It was in the way, distracting and not at all helpful. There were maybe four-five scenes that didn't have the distracting score behind it. And the chanting *COULD* have been a nice baseline but it wasn't executed properly. I was very disappointed with the score. One of the qualities of TDK was that the score matched perfectly, especially the opening scene. Here...garbage.
Character development and acting sucked. As has been the case with Nolan. Outside of Hardy and Hathaway...who cares? They all sucked and were not needed. All of them. In the first Batman, you had all these gifted actors in lesser roles...but as the franchise continued the lesser roles became more prominent which meant the new lesser roles were filled with sucky actors. The 3rd Rock kid wasn't believable...his character and acting were forced.
Random Bits of Bad: Matthew Modine's gay ass white gloves. I hate this guy, always.
Pictures of Maggie Gyllenhal.
3000 cops trapped under ground for months. Just gay.
Hines Wards face.
Kids. I hate kids in movies like this. Kids on a bus. Ugh.
The hand-to-hand fight scenes. They looked like those clips you see on entertainment shows that show them filming the scene. You know, when you can see the wires that lift the actors up when they need to a back flip and the punches "land" a foot away from their head? Yeah, that's what it looked like.
The big fight scenes with Bane and Batman were anti-climatic.
Not 'believeable'...I use that loosely, of course. The thing about the first two Batman movies under Nolan was that he tried hard to make it seem realistic. This one...not so much.
Too many corny scenes.
Final thoughts: Nolan didn't slow down to tell a story and in so doing mucked up his trilogy with a clunker. Anyone who says it was "epic" is lying. It wasn't.
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Post by e0 on Jul 24, 2012 18:32:46 GMT -5
Real Trailer for The Master
<--- Hyped!
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Post by vecseysbeard on Jul 24, 2012 18:46:33 GMT -5
Yeah I saw that this weekend and had my head explode.
PSH and JP...yes please...in a Paul Thomas Anderson movie no less.
Color me hyped.
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